31 Facts

07 March 2014

This is my 100th Blog Post :)

Here are 31 random and personal facts about me, as inspired by Tamara Laporte's blog, here.

Some of them are serious, and others are frivolous. 
They are in no particular order... just a random deluge of thoughts.
Just a note, #9 and #29 might be triggering to some readers.

A lot of my self-identity is drawn from being a redhead.

I am a genetic non-conformist: Less than 1% of the human population has redhair (and even less also has it with blue eyes,) so I always stand out in a crowd, it's a very distinctive trait, and it does make me feel unique. I temporarily dyed my hair black once, and I did not feel me.

Having unique colouring has helped to shape me into the person I am, especially by the way that people treat me. 'Redism' or 'gingerism' discrimination really does exist. Redheads really do get bullied and teased, and people really do say rude things to us because of our colouring (my "carpet" is none of your f'n beeswax!) Aside from being culturally stereotyped, it's not uncommon to be stared at, as well as touched by strangers, and over the years, redhead fetishists have said some of the creepiest and most bizarre things to me. 

My colouring has given me better insight into bullying and stereotyping, and it's really quite shocking at how much people really believe ethno/colour stereotypes. No, I don't have a fiery temper, I don't love to drink, I'm not promiscuous, I'm not a nympho, and no, I'm not in league with Satan (seriously, wtf?!)

Although I love my colouring, I do not think that one hair colour is superior to another, so, let me be perfectly clear about that: ALL COLOURS ARE BEAUTIFUL! It's just that not all colours are me.

2. I keep a diary. 
Throughout my life, I'd always fail at keeping a diary; I'd write a page or two, and then never come back to it. Then, a couple of years ago, I decided to try again, and miracle of miracles, I actually finished it, right through to the last page!

 I started a fresh diary in January... it's actually meant to be a kid's diary, the cover is pink, with drawings of funny little animals on it, and yep, it even has a little heart shaped lock on it (haha!)

Keeping a diary has helped to give me personal perspective and self-analysis. I don't write every day, or even every week, but I do write several times a month. Usually, I write about important things that have happened, but sometimes I just feel like writing (almost like writing a letter to myself.)


3. Three is my favourite number. 


4. I love the scent of frangipani (nag champa).

5.  I do not belong to any political party.
 My closest political affiliation is probably "Green Party", but I don't align myself with them in any official-ish kind of way.


6.  I love really strong tea. 
 No milk. No sugar. Steep it baby, steep it!

7. I am an atheist, and some sort of Buddhist.
I don't believe in any deity. I could be considered a sort of pantheist, because I do think we, who are made of star stuff, are the way that the Universe knows itself, but I do not believe in a godlike supreme creator who has a sense of self.

I agree with a lot of Buddhist philosophy, the more I learn, the more I like, and I really jive with Buddha's concepts of "You are in charge of your own salvation," "Moderation," and "Don't believe it because I say so, go try it for yourself; if you find it's not true for you, then discard it." (I'm paraphrasing, of course.) Ultimately, the root of Buddhist philosophy is Compassion, which I think it the most noble of all actions, so yeah, I definitely situate myself somewhere on the Buddhist-Taoist spectrum.

8.  After having been a smoker for 7 years, I quit smoking cigarettes on New Year's Day, 2006. 
I gradually reduced my cigarette consumption, from about 15, down to zero, through will power and conviction (I also numbered them, on the filters, to keep track of how many I could have on that given day.) Now, I only get the itch to smoke when I watch old movies and everybody's a cigarette chimney, lol. 

9.  I really hate crying.
I've always hated it, and probably always will. I see absolutely no functional purpose in having a wet face, red eyes, and a snotty nose just because I'm sad or painful. How any of that is supposed to make one feel better, I will never comprehend. It's horrible, and it just makes me feel worse!

My mother suffered from emotional disorders, so she cried all the time... really profound wailing-weeping-sobbing sort of crying... that would often go on for hours, even days, at a time. As a child, I associated crying with weakness, loss of control, and all sorts of negative-ness, so I would refuse to let myself cry.

My mastery of dry tear ducts was a personal mission throughout my childhood. I became really extreme about it, and I can remember being alone in my room, looking at myself hard in the mirror, slapping my face and pinching my skin til nearly bled, thinking to myself, "suck it up! DON'T YOU DARE cry!" My ultimate defiance / self-control was refusing to cry during and after corporal punishment. I was determined: nothing was going to break me.

When I was 9, my family took note that I was depressed (gee, yah think?!) so they sent me to a counselor. She realized that I was stuffing in all of my emotions, so, her recommendation was that I needed to cry. My mom rented a bunch of sad movies, most of which were really good dramas, I remember watching Cool Hand Luke, in particular, but I remained an emotional tear vault through them all.

It wasn't until after my marriage, in my mid-20's, that I started learning how to accept crying. I still hate it, and I do try to avoid / control it, but I no longer berate / punish myself when it happens.


10.  I am a strict vegetarian and a moderate vegan. 
Growing up, my favourite book was Charlotte's Web, by E.B. White. It left a great impression on me! In 1988, the day after my 8th birthday, I was sitting at the breakfast table, at a hotel in Niagara Falls, with a slice of Canadian bacon on my plate. It suddenly flashed into my mind: "this is Wilbur" The horror! I couldn't eat it... and I haven't had pork since. 

A couple of years later, I read about the connection between beef ranching and rain forest destruction, so I started to swear-off beef. I still ate fish and chicken until I was 24, when I decided to be vegan. 

Since then, I've been 100% vegetarian, and I try my best to be vegan (though I will occasionally have organic & cruelty-free eggs, rarely I have croissant or some kind of sweet that has trace amounts of dairy and eggs.) I had been a "strict" vegan for several years, but after a few recent lapses, I redefined myself as "moderate."  Obviously, I'm far from perfect when it comes to my veganism, but it's a philosophy, a lifestyle, and a process that I believe in, and wholeheartedly aspire to.


11.  Sport-hunting offends me. 
 It's unjustifiably wrong. The end.


12.  My parents picked my name because it was the ONLY name they could agree on.  
It wasn't until a couple of days before I was born that they finally agreed (if I turned out to be a girl) that I would be Bonnie Rose. Up until then, my mom's top pick had been Christina Marie, and my father insisted that I should be named Marijuana (*facepalm*)

Neither of them wanted to name me after someone, directly, but eventually, after exhausting all other choices, they started considering the names of friends. My parents had a likable acquaintance named Bonnie, who was a painter (funny that, eh?) -- finally, they found a name that they both liked! My dad came up with Rose (ok, it's not Marijuana, but it is still a plant, hah!) and mom thought it was nice combo.

13.  I am not superstitious about the number 13. 
 Actually, I think it's a really nice looking number.

14.  I tend to dress in mono-colour, almost exclusively in violets, usually paired with black. 
Over the past couple of years, it's really rare that I wear any other colour than violet, and when I do, it's usually just mono-coloured accessories (typically turquoise), paired with black. I also rarely wear anything with a pattern.

15.  I have an extensive collection of earrings 
Sometimes, I'll spend 20 min. deciding "this pair, or that pair..." 
It's ridiculous, I know.  But, it's true.

16.  I'm an introvert, but I'm also quite social.
If that's not a complicated contradiction, I really don't know what is!


17.  I love to crochet.
I learned to knit in 2007, and then to crochet in 2010. Pardon the pun, but, I'm hooked! I work on crochet almost every day, sometimes up to 6 hours a day. Lately, I've been making lots of blankets, but I'm soon to take up the endeavour of making a pull-over jumper (aka sweater.)

18.  I don't want to have children (at least, not the human kind.)
I like kids (sometimes) in small doses, but it never takes long before they turn into monsters. Being "auntie" is ok, I even rather like it, but I know, with near certainty, that having kids of my own would drive me bonkers. I much prefer taking care of furbabies to human babies. 

I have an irregularity about my uterus that prevents me from safely carrying a baby to term. Nearly 100% of people's response to this is: You can have surgery to fix it, right??!! (As if there is some great urgency to procreate, and the unquestioning assumption that I would even want to incubate a ten pound parasite inside my abdominal cavity.) Maybe I could have a surgery to correct the problem, but I don't want it "fixed." My insides are perfectly happy to remain a baby-free zone, tyvm.

And yes, I do get those "ovary moments" when I see a cute little kid and my hormones go totally mad and gushy, but then I remind myself what they sound like when they are screeeeaming, how expensive they are, and what it's like to wipe shitty baby bottoms, and scrape their puke off my shirt, and suddenly: POOF! the fantasy bubble bursts and rationality has a good chuckle at my flighty hormonal whim. Silly hormones, sit down and behave.

Also, I could quite easily go on, at length, about the seriousness of human over-population, and how it's totally unnecessary to feel obligated to make any more babies, especially considering how many already-born orphan children there are on this planet... but I will stop here.

19.  I love cinema.
In particular, I love B-horror, thriller, mystery, sci-fi, fantasy, drama, avant garde, and documentaries. I occasionally write reviews, here: Cinenut: movie reviews in a nutshell  (Which reminds me, I really need to update it!)


20.  I love Halloween.
It's my favourite American holiday. Sadly, they don't really celebrate it in France (which is kind of odd, because it seem that the French will use any random reason to make a non-working holiday, particularly the kind that starts on a Friday and extends over the weekend, lol)


21.  Mostly, I don't miss living in America. 
I've lived in France for 8 and a half years, and I feel really well acclimated. I like living in Europe; it suits me well. Sometimes I do miss: easy access to bagels, shopping on Sundays, 24/7 markets, easy and varied access to vegan food at restaurants, lightning bugs, walk-in applications for jobs, apartments that come with kitchen cabinets, and of course, Halloween. Otherwise, I'm content.


22.  The sound of ice cubes hissing and cracking in a glass of water gives me the creeps.
It's worse than a nails on a chalk board!

23.  I'm a fanatic about Tori Amos' music, but I don't consider her my "idol". 
I deeply respect her as a person and as an artist, I will forever have a love affair with her music, and there are a great many things about her personal opinions/lifestyle/etc that I do agree with, but there's plenty about Tori that I don't aspire to emulate. (see the next two numbers, as examples.)

24.  I really don't like motorcycles.
They are uselessly and obnoxiously noisy, and most people act like douchebags while driving them.

25.  In my opinion, high heel shoes are a form of foot binding.
They serve only to debilitate, deform, and denigrate women. We, as women, are taught to believe that being hobbled makes us more highly sexualized. Really, how sick is that?!

In my teens and early 20's, I was all about my heels... and then my left arch fell. And not long after, the other followed. Now, I've got to live the rest of my life with a downward spiral of crippling foot problems, including bone spurs and chronic tendinitis, which all started with high heels. 

My falling arch was a wake-up call : high heels keep us vulnerable and submissive, sending out the "easy victim here" signal through our reduced mobility, while they literally ruin our bodies in the process, causing a myriad of problems in our backs, knees, calves, and feet. 

Go ahead, roll your eyes and call me a crazy feminist, but the truth remains the same: high heel shoes deform and debilitate women.


26.  I'm not afraid to say 'vagina', nor any other word used to describe female anatomy. 
A lot of people are really uncomfortable with the word, vagina, and exclusively use euphemisms to refer to it. I'm known to use adorable euphemisms (I have a pet name for my own, and no, I'm not going to tell you what it is, lol) but I'm also not scared to say ... dun-dun-dun ... vagina! There is no shame in having a vagina, so there should be no shame in it, either.

27.  I aspire to be more of a minimalist.
I couple of years ago, I started purging a lot of my needless things, and clearing away the clutter. I was raised by hoarders, so it's been an interesting journey in overcoming the urges of my upbringing, to keep every little thing "because it might be useful someday!" or "can't get rid of this junk, because it belonged to so-and-so." 

Minimizing takes time, it's a process, but it really feels wonderful every time I let go!

... and I know, dear reader, I just said that I had an extensive collection of earrings, so how can that be minimalistic?! But, in my own defense, I did get rid of some. Really, I swear! Don't judge. lol

28.  I'm not afraid of heights, but I am afraid of falling.
I've no problems looking over the railing while on a tall building, but I'm scared to go onto the 2nd step of a small step ladder.

29. I'm a rape survivor, twice over. 
The two incidents were unrelated, once in my teens, and once in my early 20's. Being a former rape victim isn't something I talk about often, certainly, it's not something that comes up in day-to-day conversations. It's also not something I have ever publicly stated, so, there it is. 

I used to have paralysing PTSD, but I rarely ever think about it now.  I've been able to let go (mostly), and my life moves forward. I talked to a counselor about my PTSD only twice, which was, at the time, totally unproductive. It just took time and a loving relationship to help me overcome the trauma-loop. 

30.  I get anxiety about finishing things.
I read that it's caused by fear of failure and perfectionism. That seems reasonable to me.

31.  I love to travel and have adventures in new places. 
So far, I've been to 29 states + D.C. in the USA and 8 countries: America, Canada, Mexico, England, Ireland, France, Belgium, and The Netherlands. Next on my list of places to visit: Italy, and more of France.

Well, there they are, 31 Facts about me.
If you write a post with 31 facts about you, feel free to post a link in the comment section, below. :)


Iris said...

This was really interesting, thanks for sharing Bonnie Rose! I posted mine on my blog too.

Jenny Morbey said...

Super interesting, and I totally agree with you on a lot, esp the high heels (never thought of it like that before),saying the word vagina, and aspiring to veganism! Thank you for sharing!

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